How Does One Say Goodbye to Her Baby and accept that he has grown-up?

The author and her nephew Kyle Madrid when he's still a toddler.

I could still recall his boisterous laughter each time I tickle him. He’s such a cute and cuddly toddler with bright eyes, chubby cheeks and naughty smile. Oh, those were the days. I can’t believe he’s now in Grade five and will be turning ten years old by September. He was just around 8 months when I had him.

Cute and angelic Kyle Madrid as a toddler.

Geez, how time flies! I used to cradle him in my arms as I sing lullaby…We used to watch Barney DVDs together and sing his favorite songs. We used to play peek-a-boo and how he got frustrated in trying how to read his books. He didn’t cry during his first day in school and I was such a proud Mom. But I cried when he participated in a production number on stage at school and when he received recognition for the many awards he had amassed from both academics and the art competition.

I saw how he felt disappointed each time he losses in art contests or each time he cannot seem to understand his lessons in school. I was his only witness.

I almost lost him twice after he’s had two consecutive vehicular accidents in one year (2011). And I really felt bad for not being there for him during those times. God knows how much pain it had given me and am really thankful and blessed that I’m given another chance to make it up to you.

 

Kyle Madrid, at age 9 going on 10.

Sometimes I get hurt because you seem not to be listening to me, or that you take me for granted because you were busy doing other things. But my eyes light up each time you hold my hand or talk to me about things I never even know you’ll think about. I love that you know how to handle things on your own, without relying on me as well as I love those times that you ask my own opinion.

In the next couple of years, I am preparing myself—I know you’ll be more into other things. Perhaps I may not even be a part of it. But I want you to know that I will always be here for you. I may not be your biological mom, you may not even see or get to know who your real Dad is in your entire lifetime, but you will always have ME. I may not be enough, but I am all yours my dear Kyle. You, your grandma and I—we are family. 

I may never accept the fact that you’ve grown up and that you’ll soon become a teenager. For in my eyes, you will always be the baby that I had in my arms. I will try my best to let you go and spread your own wings, but Atching (his petname for me), will never leave your side. I’ll be here every step of the way, guiding you to the right path. Making sure that you will never go astray and that in everything you do, you will give glory to God.