So this is how being forty feels
like... With four decades of existence on Earth, I have learned that I have so
much to be thankful for. My life journey wasn’t exactly easy, but it was worth
every risk, every decision that I made has made me into who I am today.
If you happen to know me
personally, you must know that I had been living my life as a single for the past
decades. I dated quite late (I started dating at age 35 you know) simply
because I had forgotten my desire to get married. Back then, I was so focused
on raising my nephew Kyle whom I treated like my own son—I didn’t have the
luxury of time to do anything else. Now that Kyle has grown into a fine young
man (He’s now 18 years old) and an incoming freshman in college, I guess it’s
time to face my own life no matter how overdue it may be.
This year, as I turn 40, I am
making a lot of milestones: I am making a new decade, this will be my last year
as a single (hopefully, God-willing) and thank God I have already met the man I
wanted to marry and live with for the rest of my life.
They say 40 is the new 30. At
this age, I fully understand that there are some things that we can’t just
plan. Life is a series of surprises and plot twists. We receive blessings each
and every single day. It’s all a matter of perspective. Even something negative
can be turned into a positive one—it depends on how you perceive things. If you
let it affect you negatively, then it will be your loss. But when you look at
it differently—try to see the goodness in everything that comes your way, it
will eventually change the way you look at things, and ultimately, change your
life. You’d soon notice that you’d become happier, more relaxed, and practically
be a more positive person.
I’m not saying that at my age I’ve
become a very positive person. I am still a work-in-progress, there’s still a
lot more room for improvement. However, I am trying my best each day to be a
better person. It’s a bit difficult, to be completely honest about it, but we’re
getting there. As they say, you don’t really need to see the entire staircase,
you just need to take one step at a time.
So many unsavory things have
happened in my past. I lost my self-worth, I lost my self-drive, self-love, and
confidence. I’ve met a lot of people who shouldn’t be in my life but for some
reason (which I understand now) I had to cross paths with because I needed to
learn life lessons from them. I’ve met narcissists, psychopaths, user-friendly,
professional hustler, sexual addict, name it—most likely, I was able to
encounter them at least once in the past year. Back then, I couldn’t understand
why I had become drawn to these types of people. I consider myself friendly in
my own way but once you get to know me better, you’d know what an empath I am.
In the next two months, we’ll be
saying goodbye to 2020. It’s such a memorable year for everyone. It has brought
us closer together. It had changed the way we used to live because of the
Covid-19 virus and has affected us all because of this pandemic. We lost loved
ones along the way, others have lost their jobs too. I also lost my first pet
and my fur baby Fudge in October of 2020 from parvovirus.
Despite such a series of
unfortunate events, I’d still treasure this year. I’d be saying goodbye to
singlehood before the year ends. Things may be bleak for now and there have
been a lot of uncertainties. As I welcome this new chapter in my life, I knew
there would be a lot of changes, there would be adjustments as well as problems
coming in—but knowing fully well that I no longer need to face all of these
alone meant a lot to me.
2020 has taught me a lot of
things: To become more responsible—learn to push my boundaries, to go out from
my comfort zone, and that it’s perfectly fine to fail. At the end of the day, it
doesn’t really matter if you make mistakes because everyone does, what counts
the most is the number of times you try to assess your mistakes and learn from
them. Chin up, get up from that fall and not to be afraid to try again.
Life is a series of miracles and
surprises. You just have to seek the gift specifically made for you each and
every day. This is why today is always called “present.” It’s up to you to
decide to open and accept the gift that each day brings.
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